18.3.13

Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

I have a recurring dream. It's the one where I'm diagnosed with cancer. It was worse than usual this time, as it went as far as finding out it was terminal and I starting picking out how I wanted my memorial service being done. I have the cancer dream every now and then, and every time I have it, a bunch of crap hits the fan and everything falls to shreds. It's scary.

It has me really worried. Looking at repeat back surgery, looking at a lupus, RA, or MS diagnosis in the near future, getting hit with three major illnesses this semester so far (influenza twice, and a lovely strep/bronchitis/upper respiratory combo). It has be freaking terrified of what's going to happen next.

I don't know what to do.

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