we shall all be free, some day.

"We shall overcome, we shall overcome, we shall overcome some day. Deep in my heart, I do believe, we shall overcome someday."

True, this song was mostly written about the civil rights movement. But look around at our world today. We have children being abused by the ones that claimed to love them. We have teenagers deciding that they aren't beautiful, or that they aren't in control of their lives, so they turn to an eating disorder. We have college students who can't handle the pressures of life and have so much inner turmoil so they cradle the razor in their hand and make crimson imprints on their skin. We have people trying to break free from drugs or the bottle.

And some days it seems hopeless. It seems like we won't overcome. I look at my own life, for example and all the odds I've defied. Most people in my shoes would be on the streets and a crackhead by this point. But instead, I'm determined to turn my pain around and make a difference in this world. I'm determined to take this pain and help people, hence the director of Christian Outreach part of my major - so I can take this pain and DO something with it. I don't want my suffering and recovery to be in vain and only benefit me. I want to take the pain of a young child, unloved by the ones supposed to protect her, and turn it into something good, something beautiful.

And the psychology part is for developmental psychology. I want to go to an area where there aren't many developmental psychologists, and help the kids that would otherwise fall through the cracks because there isn't enough support for them. I don't want to be just another provider at a clinic - I want to start a clinic, a place in an area (right now, I'm thinking overseas) where there wouldn't be hope otherwise.

I know we live in a dark world. I know we live in a scary place. But I also know that we can live in hope, peace, love, and happiness and one day take all this suffering and turn it into something good, something useful.

"We shall all be free, we shall all be free, we shall all be free some day. Deep in my heart I do believe, we shall all be free some day."


Six Week Surgery Update

So I decided to hell with it, and made my blog public again. I like having a public blog, and I figure there's a report button for a reason, right?

This marks six weeks post op. I look like this these days, as you can see up there. Well, I usually don't have a random 3 year old with me, but she's there sometimes. And I chose this picture because you can tell I'm sitting straighter. I did have to get new crutches, because the old ones were way too heavy after surgery and I could barely walk with them.

My insurance still has me listed as a patient at the rehab place, when clearly I'm not, so I'm starting to raise hell. I still live in horrible back pain, and I think my scar might be slightly inflamed but I can't tell. I find out at my post op on Thursday. And will hopefully find out who whoever medicated me and landed me in the ER on oxygen.

I'm doing two summer classes. I'm finally learning algebra. I'm a little behind, but I took today off because I needed a day off. I'm also doing health, which is proving to be interesting. My life is currently juggling health and school and therapy, which is exciting.

My next update will be a real update for the real purpose of this blog - exploring my faith during a broken time. But I thought a six week post op update would be a good thing so there we have it.