they say the third time's a charm.

I swear writing this one blog will be the death of me! Aeirth (that's my laptop's name) has decided to eat it. Twice. That's not nice, Aeirth. It's 6 am and I need SLEEP! And the thing is, it's not even that long or complicated this time because I'm crabby and cranky and in pain so thinking isn't working well! Please, please, just post properly this time so I can crash for a couple hours before class, okay, Aeirth? Then I can take a nap after my 1 o'clock class and before my 4 o'clock. Please, Aerith. And please, Blogspot, I promise I will be very nice to you if you will just freaking behave! (Not to mention the other computer settings and other whazzits you messed up when you crashed, not just talking about this supposedly simple homework assignment!)

Ahem.

Quote the First:

"After the fall into sin, we love because God has come to re-create us and re-call us into that pattern." (Kolb, 35)

It's interesting, because this shows how love goes full circle. We were created to love and to be loved. We fell due to sin, yet we were still beings in need of love. And God loved us so much that God started the cycle over by submitting his son to die on the cross to be the atonement for our sins - so that once again, we are fully able to love and be loved as we were created to.

"We are righteous in this relationship because we fear, love, and trust in God above all things."

You know, this is interesting. Love and trust are two things that I struggle with greatly. I don't love easily and in fact struggle with the concept of love, full stop. I'd even venture as far as to say I fear love, but I know that's largely due to my past. As well as my trust issues. And so, the thought that in order to fully have the relationship work I have to have the two things that I struggle with so greatly, well, it has a bit of an impact. Earlier in the paragraph it stated how God is the "protecting Father". Suffice it to say I cannot remotely grasp the concept of God has a father, nevertheless a protecting one. And so - the thought that I have to overcome all this (and not just I, any Christan) in order to have a full relationship, well, it's scary.

Author comments:

Blog readers; if this entry doesn't make sense blame the lack of sleep. Feel free to text me saying "Hey, you sillyface, SLEEP!" I feel that I didn't make enough sense (my first entry was great!) and that it's just discombobulated, incongruous thoughts. But at least I'm pondering things, and at least God is helping my stubborn, stony heart melt into a heart of flesh and be made whole agian, right?