3.11.11

I'm still fighting to walk towards the light

I've been told many times that I'm disabled because I'm demon possessed.
I've been told that I am depressed because I am not right with God.
I am told that if I just surrendered my mental health stuff to God, it would get better.
You know what?
It ain't that simple.

More than that?
THAT ATTITUDE REALLY PISSES ME OFF. WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, MATE?

Ahem.

You (general, not aimed at anyone today claim to love God and love His people. Yay! That's great! Go team you! Fight the power!

But don't cast judgement on me.
You have no idea.

Do you have any idea how many tears I've cried?
Do you know how many times I've broken down, alone, in a pile of tears because this so-called God hasn't chosen to heal me?
Don't you think I WANT, I CRAVE, more than ANYTHING to be healed?
And don't think you're coating it by staring at me, by whispering behind my back.
I'm not stupid and I'm not deaf.
I know.

I'm fighting every day to keep going, and some days the fight is harder than others.
So for someone to say such things, I'm afraid next time one of those things is said it's going to hit my Beresek Button and I will flip out on an innocent, well meaning person.

I juts wish people THOUGHT before they spoke. I feel that since I have crutches, I'm a magnet for people to spew their religion on me. =/

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