Do not go gently in that good night

I'm gonna walk with my granddaddy,
and I'll match him step for step
And I'll tell him how I've missed him every minute since he's left
and then I'll hug his neck

Pawpaw's birthday was yesterday, and I forgot it. I'm an awful, awful granddaughter. I feel awful because he was the most important man in my life, and I loved him dearly. I still miss him. I still grieve him. And how could I forget his birthday? My grandma's (dad's mom, not Pawpaw's bride) was December 5th. She'll be gone 16 years come January 27.

Funnily enough, my Mawmaw and my Grandpa Dale had the same birthday, only one year apart. That's pretty cool.

I miss my grandparents. I hate being only 24 and that my grandparents died in 1975, 1996, 2006, and 2010. It's a weird, hallowing feeling that they're gone. And in some ways, I'm angry and bitter about it. In some ways, I feel bad for sometimes forgetting dates like the day they were born or the day they died. I know, I've been swamped with school, finals, and health stuff and they wouldn't want me to be held up. And I just feel so lonely... so lonely. My grandparents are gone. My future husband will never meet my grandparents or my parents. I'm left alone. And it sucks.

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase...

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